All computers have subsystem processes that run constantly in the background and enable the computer to function the way the human user expects. These Processes are called Daemons. The term has a strikingly similar sound and look to the word Demons. This is not on accident, to quote wikipedia:

“The term was coined by the programmers of MIT's Project MAC. They took the name from Maxwell's demon, an imaginary being from a thought experiment that constantly works in the background, sorting molecules. Unix systems inherited this terminology. Maxwell's Demon is consistent with Greek mythology's interpretation of a daemon as a supernatural being working in the background, with no particular bias towards good or evil.”

Unless your are a programmer, IT professional, or computer enthusiast you probably have never heard of a Daemon before. You probably will never have to see them either. These processes are not user facing, for most people. You Macbook is dealing with all its daemons by itself so you don’t have to. When a daemon stops running or is functioning improperly you might start to see some funky stuff going on with your computer.

Humans are much more advanced than computers, but as much as many religious organizations would like to disagree we are really, as far as we know, just advanced Wet-Ware machines. The human brain is in many ways a wet-ware motherboard.

So it is my personal belief that humans have Daemons inside us as well. They are the subconscious patterns of behavior and thought that influence all of us. The Daemons we have were influenced by the relationships we had as small children.

Arguably the most important Daemons were set in place by our interactions with our parents. Our early formative relationships with parents play an enormous role in who we are as people.

Our parents are the guardians of our source code in childhood. They are there to try their best to keep updating us and fixing our bugs. At some point though we learn enough and become our own fully functioning operating system.

But the memories of our parents and the way we interacted with them live on as our subsystem processes long after they are gone.

I had to bury one of the most influential people in my life yesterday. My father, Thomas Xavier Mackey. To be honest we had had a rocky relationship for the last 10 years or so. The gaps that separated us grew wider. This was neither one of our faults but merely the result of our own daemons. We had both inherited some of the more un-functional daemons that popped up in random people in our ancestry. But we worked our best to take care of ourselves. And so much of our processing power went to fixing our own internal processes that we grew distant because we simply did not have the Bandwidth to take care of each other as much as I know we both wanted to.

I am in part the result of the “thomasxmackeyd” subsystem process that runs inside me. And for a long time I thought that was a bad thing. I thought that was what caused so much of my suffering. But looking at where I am now. 22 years old, living in my own apartment in Park Slope Brooklyn, working in a job I love that pays great, I think that as much as the “thomasxmackeyd” subsystem process was a hard one for my hardware to handle, it is responsible in part for my success.

My father instilled in me the Drive to work hard and to settle for nothing less than the best. It may be a result of my interactions with my father that I have so much anxiety in day to day life, but it was also my interactions with him instilled in me a drive to work my hardest. He taught me indirectly how important it is to work on yourself and realize that their is no pinnacle of achievement and that if you don’t keep growing and moving you die. He is part of the reason I am where I am today. And I thank him for that.

Even when the relationship between me and my father was at its worst and the harshest words were exchanged and hardest blows dealt to each other. We both knew how much the other one loved us. As much as I at times questioned my fathers actions. I always knew he loved me. And I always loved him. And looking at the world now. It feels quite a bit more empty. The air feels thinner and the clock seems to tick a little bit slower. I would do anything just to talk to my father one more time. And I’m sure he would be feeling the same if it was me who had died.

As much as my father was a complex man, he was a good man. In honor of my father and the love he gave me, I will become the man he was trying his hardest to be at all times.

I love you dad, and I miss you. As much as we didn’t always get along your love for me and your impact on me will echo on long after your death. You will always be alive as long as I am because you are running as a subsystem process inside me.

Rest easy Dad.

Love, Your Son Liam

The Traditional Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you; May you see your children’s children. May you be poor in misfortune, Rich in blessings, May you know nothing but happiness From this day forward.

May the road rise to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on, May blue be the skies above you, May pure be the joys that surround you, May true be the hearts that love you.